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Outlook Life

May 26th, 2010

Fifteen minute reminder – mute please!
Read Receipt – I always say, No.
Signatures and sign-offs, we only want
your contact information.
.
Calendar up to date? – can you put me on your share?
When replying, type your text above this line.
_________________________________________________________
And if we all don’t need to read your cute little reply,
just reply to one not all.
.
This message (including any attachments) is confidential.
When you send a ‘running late’ email daily,
at some point that’s just when you arrive.
Thank you ahead of time,
With kind regards.

Death of a Skydiver

May 4th, 2010

From great heights I’d fall with a smile not fright
At fourteen thousand feet I’d step out the door
This time in my life was not contrite
.
Each jumper had a place planned out with foresight
There was never a shortage when it came to finding a mentor
From great heights I’d fall with a smile not fright
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There is no better feeling than being in-flight
To Drop Zone I headed, they call it hardcore
This time in my life was not contrite
.
Low winds and Blue Skies were my delight
Freedom was mine, down to my core
From great heights I’d fall with a smile not fright
.
Hanging out with friends ‘round a fire long long past midnight
Recounting the day, each event I’d adore
This time in my life was not contrite
.
Two hundred and ten is all I can cite
A change in my world stole away my amour
From great heights I’d fall with a smile not fright
This time in my life was not contrite

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An Exercise from my writing class.  I needed a way to express the end of my skydiving career.  Fear not, I’ll be back to story telling in no time.  Until then…enjoy something a little different.

Object Fixation

February 17th, 2010

“The body follows the head, which follow the eyes. Or: Where you look is where you go.”

She mentioned she wasn’t feeling well as we exited the brown line train. She inquired “how much further to our destination?” I pointed to the mural in sight. “It’s across the street from that mural, do you see it”? She said no, and quite indignantly as well. Hummm. While standing between a restaurant and a music institute, I continued to try and explain where the colored brick wall… It no longer mattered. I heard the sound of thick liquid hitting the sidewalk next to me. Yikes, it was noon. High noon, in the old west, just about time to have a gun fight. In France, just about time for lunch on the Seine. In ancient Greece, just in time to find no shadow on the sundial. We had most definitely gone out the night before, but general consensus dictates that what happened on the street about a half a day later should take place just as one is passing out for the night (as it did for me), or just as you wake after the binge. We consumed vodka all night until meeting friends at a dive bar. So, it is questionable if these events were a result of too much vodka, or the pernicious light beers purchased to close down the night. We will never know.

She, Christene, was up for the weekend to party and generally release the stress life can sometimes deliver to your front door. Christene and I played soccer together in college (over 10 years ago- spring chickens we are not), and hadn’t seen each other in a couple of years. Many things had changed in those years and clearly we had ‘beaucoup’ about which to chat. She had a year of seniority over me, along with a foot in height. In the sports clinic we were referred to as Mutt and Jeff, as I stand 4’11”. Her beauty is a lovely mix of her father’s Vietnamese length, and her mother’s Texas American strength. She was lethal on the field, and she knew from day one she was going to be a physical therapist, which she is today.

I figured one public deposit of ruminate on the street would be enough. Laughing, I checked to see if anyone had seen what just happened, and yes, there was a guy paying for parking just ten feet away. He did not seem to take any notice. Therefore, I assumed we were in the clear. A few more steps and a second batch was set free to the universe (no more chai lattes for this one). I feel I need to add that I was, in fact, unusually dressed up for a Saturday. We were on our way to my dojo, but we had plans for the whole afternoon. Being cute was on my list. I was sporting my long black jacket from VS, but my actual outfit was a juxtaposition of camo-pants and a pink tuxedo top. The belt and shoes were what brought it all together, as they were both a girly pink. Little did I know, that outfit would be reworked less than an hour later. Christene turned to tell me something, but before any words could be formed her upper digestive tract enacted its other plans: an enormous amount of projectile vomit found its way all over my side. She had 359 degrees in which to launch her demons, but her eyes had locked on me, and that was all she wrote. Her height enabled the eruption to cover me from my shoulders down to my heels. Even with her hands in front of her face, copious amounts of vomit passed between her fingers (she was no goal keeper). The gentleman feet away had little-to-no expression, other than a need to exit stage left, which he did promptly. I was walking in circles, laughing and questioning, “how the &*^% did this just happen”? True composure would not be found until much later that day, but at the time I had quickly realized we needed help. We were something of a hot mess.

I removed my jacket, folded it inside out, and handed it to Christene. “This thing is yours until we drop it off at the cleaners.” In the cold, standing on the street, I called our friend Bridget to come rescue us, as I was not about to board the train with a silent companion stinking the compartment up with disgorge. “I need you to come and get us, Christene just puked on me!”, I was able to force out somewhere in between crying and laughing. Bridget, quite concerned because she was not totally understanding the situation, told me she was on her way once everything was clear. Moments later I received a text message from Bridget informing me that it would be a few more minutes, as first she had to update her facebook status.

It read: “Just got the most unique phone call al year to date” Bridget, can you come pick me up from the train station? I just got puked on…”

Dogs of Romania

January 11th, 2010

I’ve had the good fortune of having parents who work for a ‘truly’ international corporation. My father works for a tire company that has needed his expertise in nations that reside in continents other than North America. What has that meant for me? I’ve had multiple opportunities to visit other countries with tour guides that speak English, don’t charge me for room or board, and are in most cases happy to foot the bill to fly me to their location. My parents relocated to Romania for four years, and currently call Mexico home. Most often, whenever I was asked, “where do your parents live?” my response would leave shock on most faces. You might think the follow up question was, “are your parents missionaries?” My standard response: “No they are Mercenaries.” I would then explain that they were not fighting wars or selling weapons, but that they are clearly capitalists, and were for sale to work in countries that were willing to take advantage of low wages and poor working conditions for financial gain (obviously all the while improving the local economy). I always replied with a smile, because secretly I knew that my parents were really there because they were up for the adventure, not unlike myself; they wanted to party with new friends in cool foreign locations. Oh, perhaps there was career advancement in there somewhere for my father…perhaps.

During my first visit to Romania I found a number of things to be true: Vampires were born within the borders of the country, and Romanian is a romantic language that sounds quite French (though I bet you thought it sounded more Russian). The countryside is both stunning and rustic (the concept of peasantry is still very much alive). The capital city, Bucharest, is full of history, both before the Roman Empire and within my own cognisant memory. The city is in a constant state of growth from dawn to dusk, and at some point during the eighties an American animal activist won over city officials with the idea that instead of ‘putting-down’ the overwhelming amount of stray dogs in the city, those dogs should be free to run wild, forming packs packs along the way. The aforementioned factors make Bucharest both noisy and difficult to navigate from time to time.

I have issues with repetitive sounds. AT the top of my list: tapping, whistling, babies crying, hammering, beeping and ringing tones all reach different levels of paralytic sensations within my psyche. I’ve had outbursts in meetings, as well as completely ceasing to complete my point waiting for the tapping pen to rest quietly out of reach of the little drummer boy in control. The construction workers across the street from my parents’ flat quickly became my Kryptonite. How long is the standard work day in Romania? From my experience it is from sun up to sun down. Is there another way to insert a nail like object into planks of wood that doesn’t make a ton of noise? Are these men trying to hammer at different rhythms on purpose, or does it just say something about who he is? The off-beat sounds were accompanied by barking dogs hoping to snatch up food either dropped or dished out near the work area or by wealthy neighbors. Without question this reinforced my drive to see the city sites, have coffee at local cafes, and go for walks in the huge park within the city center. The walks especially have a place in my heart just as do the construction men.

One fine afternoon my mom and I headed out for a peaceful jaunt to the lake in order to enjoy the tranquility so close to the city’s ‘white noise symphony.’ While out we stopped for a beer at a restaurant with a patio that overlooked the lake. We chatted about all the things moms and daughters hash out; particularly when the two live on different continents. The sun was unrelenting that afternoon as we made our way back to the house. We worked on sorting out what delicious goods we were going to make for dinner, all the while making our way down a side street back to the house. A pack of large, mangy, homeless dogs were circling around the driveway of a neighbor who quite regularly, to the dislike of his entire neighborhood, fed these feral animals. Perhaps our lack of fear was from the beer, fatigue from our walk, our wanting not to be late, or even the estranged thought process that, as humans, we are at the top of the intelligence/food chain. Whatever the cause for our actions, the result was the same. We continued down our path, and as we closed in on the dogs my mom drew closer to me and began to provide two very clear instructions: 1. Do not make eye contact. 2. Do not run. Locked arm in arm we marched toward our enemy. With four dogs visible we were confident we could pass through with little trouble. But much like a flank attack, so often used in older tactics of warfare, dogs were continuously coming out from behind a wall. Five, six, seven, eight they circled us and barked to let us know we had been had, and quite aggressively I might add! Ambushed! Following the instructions given, I tried to keep mom moving slowly forward, but she lost her cool at K9 seven. Her index finger came out like that of any good mom when disciplining small children. She began to parcel out orders to each of the victors, not aware that her rank on the chain had just dropped, or that we were clearly out numbered. Her voice went from firm to scared and then to shouting, but the finger was out there to be chomped. Did I mention that she was also trying to stare down each of these dog (each of whom would never make it to Madison Square Garden’s best in show)? We could hardly take a step forward. My heart was racing and I joined in the shrieking for help. In the kindest of gestures, finally my mom instructed me to run and save myself. I didn’t want to leave her behind. We’ve already addressed my selfishness, but leave my mom behind? I don’t think so. The fiasco we were creating, both the four legged and two legged, grabbed the attention of even the noisy construction workers I had hours earlier damned.

The energy built to the point of breaking. Mom pushed me forward and with that shove came a final wish, “SAVE YOURSELF!” I was off at a dead sprint toward the construction men. With me followed a good three dogs, but I slowed and turned because I couldn’t believe what I had done. My flight reaction had kicked in. However, we were not the only ones who noticed the climax of the standoff. The construction workers also recognized that the moment was about to turn nasty. The men came running toward us; their yelling and the smashing of shovels on the street causing enough distraction for me to reposition my arms around my mom and pull her out of the circle with me. The men continued to run after the dogs until we were safely on the steps of our building. We stood there arm in arm for a minute or two before finding the composure to enter. My heart was jumping out of my chest for the next hour it seemed, and when recounting the story for my father I’m certain my blood pressure raised a few points. The three of us do laugh about the story now, but at the time it was traumatic, so much that my father walked a case of beer down the construction men as a thank you for saving the women of his family.

Hammer away boys, hammer away. You’re okay in my book…provided I am surrounded by mangy dogs (so close).