April 27th, 2009
There are types of conversations that are frequently referred to as ‘ice breakers’ or ‘small talk,’ but perhaps they are really just dialogue’s lowest common denominator. Similar to adding fractions in elementary school, its like finding the lowest common topic (LCT) with strangers or acquaintances…furthermore, I don’t even like pie. LCT’s reside in the safe areas of general chit chat, an overall feel good subject. They take as wide a conversational step as possible away from anything containing risk, avoiding the big three at all cost. No one can be offended, everyone can add input, and children can be within ear shot. In fact, I might add for socialization purposes it might be a good idea to discuss these kinds of things around kids…as to improve their ability to perform the same actions when society deems them of sufficient age to continue this mind numbing banter.
The worst LCT offender is the weather. Sure there are many others and everyone has a few standbys: national sporting events, a new restaurant, a PG news story (birth of a panda…always a hit). When asked to comment on the weather you should be aware that it has been agreed upon (silently) that this conversation is going no where. In elevators, office hallways or parties (where you know very few people) LCT’s become your best asset in navigating these encounters. Though tedious, no one likes the shy or stand-offish. Thus said, even those who detest speaking of the weather must participate in this social grace for the better good (seems I still a bit of a socialist).
You and a co-worker, you and your hair stylist (free him from this conversation! Really? Do you really think this is the first time today he’s had to discuss ‘how lovely the weather has been lately’??… Well, its not), you and ‘fill in the blank’ will only speak for a short period of time and neither you have much to say of worth given the allotted time and degree of familiarity. Perhaps you are on a conference call with people in a different part of the country and everyone has yet to dial in; preferring light conversation to silence its an easy filler until business begins.
In addition to the brief conversation there is little investment to the other party. Its not as if on second meeting you can say, “yes, remember…we talked about the weather, how is that going”? There is nothing discerning or encouraging to a discussion about the outdoor temperatures or atmospheric activity.